I recently turned 40 years old. And I love my age. On my birthday I practically shouted to the roof tops about it. In fact, I did shout it out on Facebook. My friends and family graciously congratulated me.

And I think congratulations are in order. Not for reaching this milestone so much as for choosing happiness.

I’m a much happier person at 40 than I was at 20. It’s too bad I didn’t have the self-confidence and drive back then to make my own happiness. I probably would have made some different life choices.

Like opting not to wear chambray shirts.

I see those hipsters trying to bring chambray back into fashion, and I ask you – why? Nobody over the age of 10 looks good in chambray. Nobody.

But perhaps my chambray wardrobe choice of days gone-by has helped make me who I am today. Because eventually I looked at photos of myself in my sleeveless, button-down chambray shirt and said no, there must be a better way. And that’s the path I pursued. And it’s all about the journey, right? (more…)

I am so far behind. On everything. And while I try not to sweat the small stuff, all that small stuff adds up to become big stuff.

Work projects, home projects, hobby projects, and yes writing projects are behind schedule. My last blog post was almost a month ago. I hate that.

I’ve got lists – shopping lists, chore lists, project task lists and even blog content lists (aka ed cals) – to help me prioritize. And get myself organized! But these lists are getting longer – not smaller. And it’s causing neglect. I don’t like neglect.

I feel like a hamster spinning myself in circles trying to do everything and be everywhere. So silly. I can only do my best. At the same time I recognize that life is about choices.

The Gallant family returned from a two-week vacation last week. While we travelled west to visit family and re-introduce Sweet Girl to aunts, uncles and cousins she doesn’t get to see all that often, I thought for sure I would have time to shorten a few of these lists. To write a few posts.

It didn’t work out that way. In part because each day was busy! But mostly because I chose to fill my time visiting with siblings, nieces and nephews I wish lived a lot closer than they do. I pushed those lists aside knowing the repercussions.

But I needed a break from the hamster wheel. Because while it’s my choice to do or not do, to take on more and keep busy, I like a lot of people have a hard time saying no. No to others. But also no to myself.

So this is my confession of imperfection. I know the power and choice is in me to get things done. But I can’t do it all. Things are slipping through the cracks. I know this. I am doing everything I can to seam up the fissures. Some metaphorical sewing and mending is in order!

At the same time, I’m realizing that my sanity depends on me not stressing out on all of the above. I’m learning. I’m trying – doing everything I can – to roll with it. And not spin myself into oblivion.

“Life on the hamster wheel” – Spinning and spinning…

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Image source

“Life on the hamster wheel” photo credit to Dr. Doug Frain and his photo collection of Toronto graffiti. As Dr. Frain explains on his site:

One of the most enjoyable aspects of graffiti is its artistic simplicity and whimsical approach to rather profound concepts. This recreational public art can be artistically enjoyed as well as thoughtfully contemplated.

Yes indeed.

Blogging is such an interesting outlet. I’ve been writing almost my entire life (short stories, poetry, journaling) but nothing compares to blogging.

I’ve been doing it for about seven years now on sites across the Interweb. Most of it in a professional capacity – blogging as part of my job. It’s my favourite part of the work I do. It’s my passion.

Which is why you’d think I’ve blogged a lot longer in my personal life but not so. I’ve only really been doing it steadily since 2009. And it all comes down to a struggle to find my voice. To see the words on the web page and say yes, this is me. And know it. (more…)

I’ve been known to lose myself a time or two in a thesaurus. So many words! And one word leads you to another. Jumping from synonym to antonym, and back again. It’s like a story unfolding but with an unconventional plot.

No predictions of where the next word will take you. Simply an adventure in vocabulary.

To me, words are delicious. Some more than others. I’ve touched on this point before (le beurre d’arachide anyone?).

And we all know words hold power. Good and bad yes, but I like that words can be used as a mantra. A statement repeated into truth. A promise to the future.

Lara at Wellman-Wilson Consulting recently shared her three words for 2013, and challenged others to do the same. The goal is to identify three words that represent how you will focus your energy this year.

Hmm…this challenge got me thinking. And here’s what I’ve decided.  (more…)

I really, really like the song Blood Brothers by Ingrid Michaelson which I discovered on the weekend while reading a book. A not-so-great romance novel but still. Some good came out of that read since the way this song was referenced caught my attention.

It’s such an earworm that I have it on constant replay these days on my iPod. I listen to it in the car on my way to work (and home again). I listen to it while prepping dinner. I sing it to myself (under my breath of course) perusing the grocery aisle. Yes, I’m stuck on this song.

The video of “Blood Brothers” is a time-lapse of Ingrid getting morphed into various famous people. Pretty crazy what make-up artists can do to recreate a person into someone new (or something else for that matter). Check it out.

Life anthems

I like how a specific song can be the perfect fit for how I’m feeling. An anthem or theme song for my life. For a short while anyway.

(Case in point: Where Them Girls At was my previous life anthem. Hey, sometimes you just need a song with a good beat you can dance to.)

With how crappy the end of 2012 was and me wanting to bury myself in a book all the time, I could use some uplifting reminders about the goodness of people. That “what I need you need too.” That we’re all in this together. In all the ways life manifests itself.

What’s a song on permanent replay for you right now?

Earwormin’ it…

** Phonograph photo credit to Ingrid Michaelson

You know how I know I’m getting old? And curmudgeony?

When I go through the cash at the grocery store or other retail establishment and get annoyed that my cashier and another are talking to each other as they ring up purchases. And no they aren’t talking about something actually relevant to the work they are performing. Say like what is the product code for spaghetti squash, or is there really a discount this week on Ritz Crackers.

Nope, they’re ringing customers through while discussing why so-and-so broke up with her boyfriend. Or who’s going to that house party. Or what time to hit that club tonight.

Seriously? This is your topic of conversation? This is customer service? (more…)

I was going to start this post swearing but I’ve held my inner swear demon off. I try not to cuss on social media. Sometimes it’s hard because…um…I cuss in real life. Not all the time and in all situations but I’ve certainly been known to drop a four-letter word now and again.

I’m not against profanity in writing. Not at all. I think when done well, dropping an f-bomb or whatever can enhance rather than detract. Just look at The Bloggess. Honestly, her regular use of “choice words” cracks. Me. Up.

Ooh! Or Erika Napoletano. She’s got it right; regular use of the f-bomb and being a good person aren’t mutually exclusive.

That said, it’s not a style of writing I’m looking to develop. (Do I know my writing style? Ah, question of the ages…)

The focus of this post, however isn’t supposed to be on the merits (or lack thereof) of using profanity in writing.

Nope. The focus is on how life isn’t fair.

This isn’t a boo-hoo, first-world-problems discussion of unfair. This is about relationships and trying, trying to do the right thing. (more…)

When I was a little, little girl my mom got sick and was hospitalized. A single mother at the time, her family stepped in to care for my brother and me (my sister wasn’t born yet).

I went to live with my grandparents (my mom’s parents) and my brother went to live with our aunt and uncle. I think the family split us up because we would have been a handful together.

Being so young, I barely remember that time with my grandparents. What I do remember are like snapshots in my mind. Polaroid moments of unpacking groceries in the kitchen. Playing dress-up with my grandmother’s jewelry, hats and scarves. Sitting at their big dining room table eating lunch.

The experience created a deep and lasting bond between the three of us. One that has endured well into my adulthood. (more…)

Every year I go into denial about how stressful the holidays can be. Because I love the holidays! I love Christmas, and gingerbread, and festive lights, and yes, clementines!

I want to say yes to every holiday get-together, to every cookie-exchange request and to be the person who gives the most awesome, most unique gift of all.

But it’s just not realistic. I can’t commit to every get-together. I barely have enough time to bake for my family, let alone others. And frankly, I rely on the Christmas gift lists my family gives me. Because they save me time. And time, is something I don’t have a lot of.

So – this year, I’ve decided not to go into denial about holiday stress! I’m facing it head on. Here’s how I plan to keep my head above water the snow this Christmas. (more…)