My confession of imperfection

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I am so far behind. On everything. And while I try not to sweat the small stuff, all that small stuff adds up to become big stuff.

Work projects, home projects, hobby projects, and yes writing projects are behind schedule. My last blog post was almost a month ago. I hate that.

I’ve got lists – shopping lists, chore lists, project task lists and even blog content lists (aka ed cals) – to help me prioritize. And get myself organized! But these lists are getting longer – not smaller. And it’s causing neglect. I don’t like neglect.

I feel like a hamster spinning myself in circles trying to do everything and be everywhere. So silly. I can only do my best. At the same time I recognize that life is about choices.

The Gallant family returned from a two-week vacation last week. While we travelled west to visit family and re-introduce Sweet Girl to aunts, uncles and cousins she doesn’t get to see all that often, I thought for sure I would have time to shorten a few of these lists. To write a few posts.

It didn’t work out that way. In part because each day was busy! But mostly because I chose to fill my time visiting with siblings, nieces and nephews I wish lived a lot closer than they do. I pushed those lists aside knowing the repercussions.

But I needed a break from the hamster wheel. Because while it’s my choice to do or not do, to take on more and keep busy, I like a lot of people have a hard time saying no. No to others. But also no to myself.

So this is my confession of imperfection. I know the power and choice is in me to get things done. But I can’t do it all. Things are slipping through the cracks. I know this. I am doing everything I can to seam up the fissures. Some metaphorical sewing and mending is in order!

At the same time, I’m realizing that my sanity depends on me not stressing out on all of the above. I’m learning. I’m trying – doing everything I can – to roll with it. And not spin myself into oblivion.

life on the hamster wheel
“Life on the hamster wheel” – Spinning and spinning…

Image source

“Life on the hamster wheel” photo credit to Dr. Doug Frain and his photo collection of Toronto graffiti. As Dr. Frain explains on his site:

One of the most enjoyable aspects of graffiti is its artistic simplicity and whimsical approach to rather profound concepts. This recreational public art can be artistically enjoyed as well as thoughtfully contemplated.

Yes indeed.

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